On Anxiety

A blank canvas can be intimidating.

Just like the space I’m writing on, this app on my phone.

I’ve had thoughts of blogging these past few months. Posts about the hot issues, my interests, even those cliché confessions that millennials-and-under are known for. But they never materialised to actual words here.

It’s difficult to know where to start, especially when one thinks too much about the results. Will my words make a dent on the Net? Do they hold any weight for an ego-boosting ‘Like’? And would I be revealing too much?

That’s anxiety. Signing off at this time. I hope to return of course. </melodrama>

—

UPDATE: Thanks WP, for instilling ‘Confidence’ in this nervous-as-heck guy hahaha

(and now you know)

He takes his last breath
for the night. The music
from exhaust engines
tire themselves out. Inside,
petty advisors punch their
timesheets, setting aside
solicitations for flowcharts
and returning to their ever
shrinking dormitories.

Good. Now we can begin,
the sugarplums declare.
(or are they centrefolds?)

It begins and ends like
every other cycle, not
that consistency matters
at all. Swivel, sway and
trot, or so is often thought.
Troops of the troupe
clean up nicely without
noise, nor is assembly
required. Soon enough,
the stage is ready.

A very handsome entity
(perhaps) pirouettes. No
matter if the platform
dissolves, for the performer
had rehearsed it between
routines. Now how about
the audience? Has the lone
ticket been sold? And the
theatre, well-unlit?

Yes. The prelude—or truth
be told—distraction bows
itself out. Stagehands,
raise them curtains up!

Eyes have no interest
in foreplay. What is in
play—skydiving?
Wakeboarding? Nudes
to the beholder?
—can only be
temporary. No actor
overstays their place.
Always, an unannounced
but not unexplainable
cameo, a kindred
spirit seeking presence
in the now, only serves
a sense of urgency,
of misplaced longing.

And then,
you wake up.

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Reposted from HelloPoetry here. Spinoff from the ultra short poem (you don’t even know).

Dinh Q Lê – Monuments and Memorials

Hey y’all, long time no see (again). I’m gonna try post more, promise!

So let’s get this started with a little gallery hopping on April 19…

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I entered STPI, not knowing what to expect. This long, sprawling display greeted visitors. If one looked closer at the ruins…

… they’d see a image of the Khmer temple in its former glory, in laser cut acrylic.

The past is never far away, even in destruction. It was a sobering reflection in the ongoing STPI exhibition by Vietnamese American artist Dinh Q. Lê. He’s known for his signature woven photographs, which fittingly lend themselves to how our minds really see things. The context, historical and all, right there for all to see.

I-VI.

(Due to formatting restrictions on the WordPress theme, a version of this poem with correct spacing can be found here.)

I.
don’t.
don’t cross out yourself. is
what he’ll say if
the stars actually aligned
and the corridors emptied
like magic,

he dreamt
of a place
where fairies weren’t female
or prancing like he did
in his hard hat
a steel wall from words
better left unsaid

II.
skin.
upon skin upon skin
upon fragrant how’s and wow’s.
he never cared much until
a glance, a look,
a stare for far too long,
slow burn in his heart
while his cheeks
red
handed from a look in return.

a wink? a glare?
anything at all?
the other he stares
at the soul who dares
not to reveal
to unconceal
a tender yearning
of minds too raw
to compute the
facts, but also,
the shared values.

Getting back is always the hardest, isn’t it?

I sit here typing out these words with uncertainty on my mind. After weeks of rumination and even a mind map tangled up with topics, scribbles, buzzwords etc, you would think I’d be fired up to resume blogging and churn post after post. Instead, long awkward pauses fill up the gaps between sentences, sometimes even between words. But soon enough, optimism speaks:

Ah, I’ll get the hang of it!

And with that, I’ll get cracking on this post. No more worrying if my style is consistent, trendy, or “good enough”; it will surely take shape if I could just keep posting!

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In a week’s time I’ll be flying to Hong Kong. That’s where I was raised as a wee toddler (though I was born in Singapore, which was where I eventually returned, twice – now that’s a story for another time), and to be honest, only a few memories remain. What I do remember was speaking nothing but Cantonese.

And now, into the world of Fanart.

It’s lovely what great art you can find on the Web, even if they are mere homages to characters from animation or games. These are five astonishing examples:

Series: Adventure Time
Characters: Finn the Human (left) and Jake the Dog
Artist: Brian Luong
Source

Original:

The difference in style between the fanart and original is astounding. Whimsicality of a cartoon is replaced by comic book realism. The artist made a unique perspective, structuring the composition to resemble a shot from a camera lens. Also, take a note at the background. Various parallel elements play a part in the overall tone, such as the lines of the grass flowing together, or the curves in the clouds. The title of this work is “Wands Are For Wimps” – when swordplay is portrayed in such an epic fashion, one undoubtedly agrees.

Guo Yixiu – Artifical Love / An Undertaking to the Unnatural

Attachment to the Ideal #5, Supertree at Gardens by the Bay, Archival inkjet print, 120 x 120 cm, 2014

(The following text is extracted from the descriptions at the exhibit.)

ARTIFICIAL LOVE

The landscape of Singapore is a constant thriving force that projects its capitalistic desires, often leaving little room for sentimentality. Hand in hand with the constant evolution of technology, man now holds the key to shaping his own environment. He is able to make the impossible, possible.

Challenging the boundaries of gravity, and space, he is able to construct monuments within months and provide himself the capabilities of an all see-er. Artificial products profuse into his every day, becoming his new ‘ecology’.

To live in a highly man-made society like Singapore, could one find peace in a myriad of artificiality?
Furthermore could one learn to be nostalgic, and affectionate towards artificiality?
Could it provide us sentiments of home, joy and love?

In peering into the everyday, the artist reflects on the possibilities of the present and its technologies.

AN UNDERTAKING TO THE UNNATURAL

The artist views the conditions of the Singapore society as one that is enveloped within consumerism and unnaturalness. It is a society that has learnt to overcome its natural odds and embraced capitalism as a form of survival.

Under such conditions, which can be seen as well in other societies (perhaps only not as fervently obvious), the artificial or the unnatural has become a part and parcel of everyday living here in Singapore.

The collection thus can be seen in two manifolds; one as the artist’s own obsession to ‘capture’, ‘contain’ and ‘remember’ her unnatural environment as a result of having grown up in Singapore, but also as a constant reminder to pledge towards such unchangeable facts, to constantly look towards the artificial with unyielding patience and love.

Visit Guo Yixiu’s official website here.

Naoko Tosa – Space Flower

Are they videos? Or are they paintings? Only Naoko Tosa knows. The master of Japanese multimedia art showcased his latest work at Ikkan Art in Singapore. [Link to video sample]

Hiroshi Senju – Day Falls / Night Falls

Paintings of waterfalls are illuminated in ultraviolet light. Hiroshi Senju’s Day Falls / Night Falls.

A Sundaram Tagore exhibit for Japanese abstract expressionist Hiroshi Senju. Using fluorescent pigments, Senju converts the vision of waterfalls into ultraviolet light. His large-scale works in Singapore can be seen at the OUB Centre and One Raffles Place, Tower Two.